I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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