Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
