I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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