You're a womanizer and a bitch.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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