No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
