wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
