After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
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Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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