Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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