That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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