Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
