hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
