i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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