There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
