I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the raccoons are back...
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