Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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