Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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