that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
