I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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