i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
