i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
