I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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