**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize