living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
