You're earring is so big in my mouth
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
