Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize