Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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