YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
