Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mom said you looked used
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
