Your mouth is God's brothel.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Panties = found
Randomize