I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
