dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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