I'm drive I can fine osifer
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
