So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
