Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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