dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
