at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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