Bisexual people are plain selfish.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
