What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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