Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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