you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
