Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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