How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
try to milk me bitch
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