grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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