You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
