We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
