I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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