make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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