He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
