His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
