yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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