why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
