he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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