you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
