i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
