Will you blow on my dice?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im holly from the hills drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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