He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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