This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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