I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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