All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
