I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
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