No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
