their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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