so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
