I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
