My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know her cup size but not her name....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
