I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
