What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
