that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
